You can't motorboat a personality
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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