I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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