you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
