His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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