Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How many fucks given?
0.12846
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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