im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
porn star boner night. come get it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize