My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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