Will you blow on my dice?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
