Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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