don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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