There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
