who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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