I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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