Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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