hotel room ftw
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
