we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
