This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
