Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
