Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
