508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
