:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
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