So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
