no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
