This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
