The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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