I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
