No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
should my penis look like a turkey
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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