Someone shit on the floor
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
