All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Ladies don't puke and tell
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
