Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
