I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
