ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
