So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
