my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
