I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize