I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
