There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize