so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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