If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
