Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
