He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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