you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
