they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
