Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
