i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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