All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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