Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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