Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
