I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
my poor anus
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
