Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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