I think im going to throw up on grandma
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
