Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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