Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
