Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
