Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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