I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
