It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
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