Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
