I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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