so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
